Quick sanity check. A few of my friends have reacted to my last few posts with something like, “wow, I see your point of view, but I could never have the balls to post that.”
I get why people might think I’m a little nuts, but there is a method to my madness.
First, some background. In the last few years I’ve traveled a path that allows me to take a lot of social risks. Obviously as an entrepreneur, risk is part of my DNA. But as a single man with no family to embarrass and no employer to fire me, it’s not really much of a risk at all. Rest assured, if I were married with children I would not post these kinds of things.
More specifically, if I were in a committed relationship I obviously would not be asking bloggers out on dates. Ergo the experiences that inspired those posts would not even been occurring.
Second, last weekend’s date is a super-specific case. It was with a woman who trades on her fame. She’s not just a blogger, but a lifecaster. Her life experiences are “content,” and she emphasizes that she will not see someone unless she can also write about them. While she was here, I asked her if the reverse was true, and she said yes. So, there was no violation of trust.
To reiterate: normally there is no way in hell I would write about my intimate relationships. This is an extremely specific exception that proves the rule. A unicorn.
Third, I do believe we are entering an era of more authenticity, and I just happen to be ahead of the curve (especially for men). Think of it this this way:
- 30 years ago you couldn’t get on the Supreme Court if you smoked marijuana in college
- 20 years ago you had to pretend you didn’t inhale
- 10 years ago a guy who everyone knew was a recovering alcoholic who had used cocaine got elected President
- 4 years ago we elected a guy who casually admitted to snorting coke in his autobiography
- A few weeks ago marijuana was legalized in two states; many more are sure to follow that lead
So a pot-smoker in 1980 was a criminal. Soon she’ll just be a normal person. The person didn’t change, of course; the culture did.
Likewise, we have gone from a world where entrepreneurs, venture capitalists and celebrities were these mystical, magically successful people who we only read about in magazines; to a more authentic, warts-and-all view. Knowing that, for example, Ted Turner is manic depressive in my mind makes him more human, and reminds us that regardless of our achievements or lack thereof, the only thing that really matters is whether we can live with ourselves.
Or as Tyler Durden put it: You’re not your fucking khakis.
So I have a few more posts like this I want to get off my chest. Not because I’m especially insightful or an attention whore, but because they reflect who I am and what I think about.
Some people doubtless think I really am nuts. That’s fine, because I don’t need to be liked by everyone. If someone doesn’t like the real, authentic me, then I surely will not want to hang out with them either. Coming to that realization has been a turning point in my life.