Please read this disclaimer before reading this post.
A few weeks ago I sent the note below to Jen Friel.
Subject: I know how this turns out
Hi Jen,
I have a knack for getting rejected in really unique ways. Like, just a couple weeks ago I emailed and asked this hot mess of girl out on a date. She said “yes” within 10 minutes. So the next thing I know I’m buying non-refundable tix to New York. (Yes, I ended up being stuck there for the hurricane.)
And then she backed out of it!
Why? Because of my Twitter feed. Something similar happened to me a few years ago. (I really oughta stop using Twitter. Definition of insanity and all that.)
But here I go again…
I want to take you on a date.
We’ll go to a nice restaurant, flirt a little, talk about cool stuff, take a walk afterward, stare into each other’s eyes and it will be so romantic and not-awkward. And you’ll think “wow, this guy is cool because he talks to me like a real person, not an idealized Internet fantasy.”
And even at the end if nothing happens because we’re not feeling the chemistry, you’ll still feel like you had a great night. Which is really all you can ask for most evenings, right?
We can do it in LA or Colorado, your choice.
Here’s what happens next. You’ll say “yes” because how can you say no to such a charming request? I mean, life is about experiences and I’m offering one. (To be fair, I know you’ve had a lot of them and don’t pretend be The One True Experience.)
Then you’ll, I dunno, Google me and wonder what kind of ulterior motive I must have, or assume my Twitter feed is an accurate representation of who I am.
So you’ll come up with some reason to be busy washing your hair that tonight. That’s okay, though, because I always have a plan B.
How about it?
And what do you know? She said yes!